Granny Panties

Ladies, we all have that pair of underwear we wouldn’t be caught dead in. You know, the full bottoms, or the granny panties or the ones you use when all your underwear is in the laundry. Well today, I flaunted them. Remember back when I said I was trying all these different avenues of employment, well today I went to a casting call for a well known underwear brand. Now, this was no sexy ensemble from La Senza or Victoria’s Secret, I’m talking about something you’d find in Walmart. So I trek to the East end of Toronto and end up at this studio loft space, I ventured up the stairs and feel like Im about to be murdered because the building is pretty sketchy. I find the casting room and fill out an information form. Now, I have never been to a casting before so I thought it was along the lines of a meet and greet, they just want to see what I look like sort of thing. Boy, was I wrong. A lady handed me a matching underwear and bra set and showed me to the change room. As I put on the ensemble I look in the mirror and think, “Jesus, this is what my mom wears” (Sorry Mom you’re beautiful and all..). Im talking a FULL support bra for when your boobs have gone down the drain, and high waisted underwear to hold in the undesirables. Now, if you know me, you’re aware that I don’t have the ideal model body. I’m the height of a hobbit, my hair is comparable to cousin It and I’ve got the largest bottom you’ve probably ever seen. But I’ll be damned if I did not walk out there in my granny panties and owned those like Beyonce would want me too. The panel of ladies who were casting the models said “Thats fits you well” then proceeded to talk in their secret language of French while I just stood there. They snapped a few pictures of me in my senior’s ensemble and told me I was free to go. I snapped a picture of this underwear crime but am having second thoughts of posting it on here..I wouldn’t want you to never come back.

PS, yes still unemployed

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