White Girl VS The Cleanse

As soon as we get the first sunny day of the year, everyone is faced with the inevitable question, am I beach body ready? Now, if your anything like me, Netflix is your boyfriend and pasty skin is your theme. Spring happens to be my least favourite season, its where I’m forced to deal with the damage of the winter fat suit that is now my body (one time someone actually asked me how many pairs of pants I was wearing….just one). I like to consider myself a fairly healthy individual during the week, but weekends spent table dancing and bottle emptying cause for some repercussions, AKA the poutine fairy. She likes to visit you in the wee hours of the morning when you think anything with grease and gravy is your Saviour, cheese curds are your best friend. If poutine was a religion, I’d be a cult leader. But as I said, summer is fast approaching and if I don’t want to be mistaken as a beached whale while trying to catch some rays, I think its about time for some lifestyle edits. Cleanses have hit quite the popularity spike in the past few years and its always something I found interesting but never thought I would have the will power to take on. I mean, drinking lemon water and cayenne pepper for a week sounds more like death row sentence and less like a detoxifying health miracle. I LIVE to eat, if it were a profession I swear I’d have a job by now. So recently, a different type of cleanse was brought to my attention. This cleanse requires you to have two protein shakes a day in place of your breakfast and lunch, and you can cook yourself a healthy dinner. Oh and also no dairy or gluten, AKA no fun. This lasts for thirty days and apparently a lot of people have had major success, so why not? Its only one month of my life….one painful and unforgiving month. My hopes in blogging about it is that I can hopefully gain motivation in knowing that other people know, plus once the struggles begin I’m sure you’d like to be filled in. My cleanse is set to begin on May 1st, so I’m thinking I should have a ‘final supper’, any ideas?

5 Replies to “White Girl VS The Cleanse”

  1. I’m currently trying to start a 7 day cleanse but every day it’s the same: I tell myself I’ll start tomorrow! I am the queen of excuses apparently. But this time I’m starting for real! Tomorrow that is… Good luck with your cleanse! Hope you have better self control than me 😓

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