RIP to my body

My most recent post was about a cleanse I plan to start for my summer beach bod, now we all know a diet change is not the only component to an improved self esteem and being abtastic. Its also extremely wise to add in the almighty buzz kill, exercise, or as I refer to it in my head, death. Before I had mentioned that Im a dancer, but dancers are not quite as fit as you think. We are actually extremely lazy beings, who are really good at short bursts of energy, which requires little to no stamina. I, for one, have NEVER been a runner, to be honest Id rather watch Nascar than go for a run and we all know how painful that is. I can power walk with the best of them, but a runner I am not. But, I’ve decided to go for gold, I’ve been jolking. This is my term for intervals of jogging and walking (I’ve gotta start somewhere). Yesterday was my first ever attempt at a ‘run’, and clearly I don’t know how this works so I ran with literally all of my power and had to stop after about two minutes because I thought I was going to self destruct. WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS, if I could describe my own personal hell it would be that. All I tasted was blood, my lungs hated me as if I was a chain smoker, my thighs were screaming WTF and my head was like ARE YOU OKAY. By a very large miracle, I managed to do two more intervals of jogging before I got home and actually collapsed. I do have to admit, this was one of the most dramatic reactions of my life, after chugging some water I collapsed on my kitchen floor to make sure the room would stop spinning, it was like I had an endorphin hangover. After a few solid minutes of panting and apologizing to my body for the trauma, I got up and continued with some ab, leg and arm work. I made it. I’m alive, somehow. Clearly, this was not easy, and I would never have made it through without a little motivation, my younger sister who is as fit as can be, was with me the whole time throwing back handed encouragements to keep me going. After this ‘near death’ experience I hope I can gain the motivation to keep jolking, I was debating posting some progress pictures but…I don’t think the world is ready for that yet.

One Reply to “RIP to my body”

  1. I’m not sure which reaction to go with as your post was very entertaining so I’m just going to say Great Job! Maybe you can give up dancing and blog full time! No jolking required!

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