Today is moving day and I could not be more excited. For the past four years I’ve been living in the ghetto, now most students refer to their student home as the ghetto, but I could not be more serious. I actually live in the most dangerous area of Toronto, for example, HAPPY HOLIDAYS last Christmas a man ran around my subdivision with a gun dressed as Santa, warm wishes to all. Around here, sirens are as common as birds chirping and strange occurrences are the regular.
Indecent Exposure? Check.
Gun Violence? Yup.
Landlords who think 16 bedrooms in one home is appropriate? You betcha.
Bedrooms without windows? You got it baby.
Fire alarms going off at midnight because someone burnt their chicken fingers? Absolutely.
Back stabbing roommates? Always.
What about that time I legitimately had a stalker and had to file a police report? (If you’re reading this, yes you, I still have your license plate number).
But the main reason I’m happy to be moving out, is that Satan’s Spawn and Voldemort now have NO idea where I live, it’s a completely new chapter in my life. This means my heart will no longer stop beating whenever I hear the front door open, in preparation of my first fist fight (I could take them). Adios, to the home I was scared to walk out of, in fear of being abducted by my drug selling neighbour, to new beginnings!
PS this one time I was house hunting in my ghetto and was shown a place where a girl had been murdered a few months prior…that’s all.