My Drunk Anonymous Friends

I thought it would be quite entertaining to share a bunch of hilarious mini drunk stories from over the years. No names will be mentioned because of course everyone is a professional something or other now. So, will I write about you, or can you guess which ones were actually just me?

– The time one night a friend hid a 1.5L bottle of wine in the trashcan outside of the bar and when they came back for it afterwards, it was still there

– One friend had recently purchased a new expensive leather jacket, at the end of the night they were too excited to get home and felt the jacket was weighing them down, so they threw it on the closest bench and yelled “ I DON’T NEED MY $600 JACKET ANYMORE, IM RUNNING AWAY” and ran home

– The time one friend watched too much Ru Paul’s Drag Race and one night lip synced for their life in their kitchen, solo, while their other drunk friend Facetimed it to someone else, for 45 minutes

– When one friend was suppose to meet up with a guy at their apartment, she woke up at the public library and found that she had fallen asleep in the garden instead

– One friend threw a new years party and our other friends sister was going to be there (the sister is 5ft tall 100lbs), my friend feels intimidated by her when drinking cause she’s a drink pusher, so he hid in his closet at his own party trying to get away from her

– The time one friend went on vacation and drank a little too much, to the point that they puked in not one, but both beds in their hotel room… the cleaning staff definitely started to plot against them the rest of the trip

– One friend was so obsessed with poutine that when they dropped their XL poutine on the sidewalk after a night out, they grabbed their fork and continued to eat it… off of the ground. In the morning said friend woke up with french fries in their hair

– One time my friend was waiting for the subway and when they finally got on, started chanting “BARACK OBAMA, BARACK OBAMA” for no reason

– The time my one friend was throwing up in the back of the cab, so their other friends tried to keep it discrete by letting this person throw up IN their hands and throw it out of the car window….

– The time my friend was waiting in line for poutine and ended up just running off with a bag of potatoes from the restaurant instead

-the time my friend was so hammered at the bar they fell over like a plank of wood and landed on a private booth’s table and broke a bottle of Grey Goose….$200 payment later and they weren’t even kicked out

Did any of these make you think of your own hilarious drunk story, or even better…someone that isn’t you? Contact me to get your story part of the next My Drunk Anonymous Friends, I’m sure we could get enough to publish a few more sequels.

2 Replies to “My Drunk Anonymous Friends”

  1. One time I had 6 friends decide to share a van cab home from the bar. The cab wouldn’t allow someone to sit in the front seat but they allowed one to sit in the “trunk” behind the bench seat. My friend ended up falling asleep in the back of the cab and was forgotten about…woke up 2 hours later in someone else’s cab ride

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